God created the Heaven and the earth. Quickly He was faced with a class action suit for failure to
file an environment impact statement. He was granted a temporary permit for the heavenly part of
the project, but was stymied with a cease and desist order for the earthly part.
Appearing at the hearing, God was asked why He began his earthly project in the first place. He
replied that He just liked to be creative.
Then God said, "Let there be light" and immediately the officials demanded to know how the light
would be made. Would there be strip mining? What about thermal pollution? God explained that
the light would come from a huge ball of fire. God was granted permission to make light,
assuming that no smoke would result from the ball of fire, and to conserve energy, the light would
have to be out half the time. God agreed and said He would call light "Day" and the darkness
"Night." The officials replied that they were not interested in semantics.
God said, "Let the Earth bring forth green herb and such as may seed." The Environmental
Protection Agency agreed so long as native seed was used. Then God said, "Let the waters bring
forth the creeping creatures having life; and the fowl that may fly over the Earth." Officials
pointed out that this would require the approval of the Fish and Game Commission coordinated
with the Heavenly Wildlife Federation and Audubongelic Society.
Everything was okay until God said He wanted to complete the project in six days. Officials said
that it would take at least 100 days to review the application and impact statement. After that
there would be a public hearing. Then there would be 10 to 12 months before...
At this point, God created Hell.
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