Private Interpretations -- II Peter 1:20

       Ever wanted to find a scripture and you just can't locate it anywhere in the Topical Guide? Let's say you need a reference about the Stock Market Crash or what happens to those that sleep in church. Where do you go?

       Well, as it happens, Elders do some thumbing through their "sticks" and one day when they come across the following passages that just somehow got overlooked when the LDS Bible Topical Guide was compiled in 1977 . . . .

Lev.13:40-41Bald people are clean
19:27No haircuts or shaving
19:28No tatoos
Deut.1:3Companion's cooking
22:5Modern clothing
23:13What to do with poopies when outdoors (footnote)
Judg.12:4-5Some problems with learning a language
20:16Lefthanded people are good
II Kings2:23-24What happens to mocking children
Ezra4:18Good for letters home
9:3,5Reactions to Dear John letters
Prov.1:12Hot to eat food you hate
8:17Advice from soon-to-be RM to girls
21:19Contentious women
22:27Can't pay rent
25:25Letters from home
27:14Early risers
28:25Why missionaries get fat
Eccl.4:11The part the white handbook doesn't quote (pg. 19)
7:20The Lord's hire will get shaved
28:8Chinese restaurants?
28:20A basketball player's bed
57:4French kissing
Jer.4:19-21, 24-25MTC missionaries bowel troubles
Ezek.3:1-3Ezekiel's lunch
3:8Cows kissing
7:12Stock Market Falls
13:18Relief Society home-making is bad (1st sentance)
Zech.5:1Authorizes T.P.'ing
Matt.15:20No need to wash hands
Mark7:7-9Washing dishes is a foolish tradition
13:35-37The office staff when the President is away
Luke7:7It is bad to tract
Acts7:58-59The J.W.s stoned stephen
20:7-9What happens to those that fall asleep in church
28:2The local people are friendly
28:15Paul drank beer
Rom.16:16Kissing, a commandment to do so (I Cor. 16:20, ...)
I Cor.11:14-15Long hair is a shame for men
14:34-35Women are to be silent in church
II Cor.2:4Letter to girlfriend
Gal.3:13No salvation for monkeys
6:11Long letters
Philip.3:2Warning to stay away from DOGS
II Thes.3:11Wasters, missionaries
I Tim.2:11-12Women to be silent
5:1Don't rebuke ELDERS
5:23Drink wine not water
Heb.5:13Don't drink milk
I Jn.5:21Pop-stars and heroes
II Jn.1:12Last letter home (III Jn. 1:13-14)
Rev.2:4-5Advice to your girlfriend if she dumps you
II Ne.9:51Enjoy being fat
28:25Don't sing, "Come, Come Ye Saints"
Jacob6:12Three words that say everything
Alma60:6No letters?
D&C88:126Going home